Unchained Melody

ceased to exist

2006-10-15T00:59:00.000-07:00

as of today, chainme.blogspot has ceased to exist permanently.

[click here for new link]

reflections

2006-09-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

REFLECTIONS

Watched my life pass me by in the rearview mirror
Pictures frozen in time are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day stuck in the shadow of my mistakes .

[Nick Lachey - What's Left of Me]

How apt.

it's time to get the motor running

2006-05-28T11:54:00.000-07:00

I have so much to rant about that I have no idea where to begin. My head is like a virtual sphere of swirling madness, full of thoughts and feelings that I think it is going to burst if I choose to keep it all nicely tucked in the little corner of my brain. Insanity stems from everyday mundane things like annoying kids to life making decisions.

About annoying kids, I think that ALL kids need to be taught and reprimanded if need be about the dangers of being over-possessive. It gets very, very annoying and irritating to see children starting to wail when their grandmother, for example gets taken away by another grandchild to spend the night with. A grandmother is to be shared with by all the grandchildren and I think that this should be taught to every kid born on this planet. The ability to share is essential because it promotes goodness in children. If people know how to share, fights and arguments tend to minimise, compromise and accommodation takes place, and everyone is happy. Or so it seems. If selfishness continues to manifest itself, then haha, sharing must be some kind of sick joke. Should I were to have my way, I would have long ago started disciplining my child. It may take some time, the process may be long, but there is no harm in constantly reminding and reprimanding if need be. Parents, I think its time to buck up. You know who you are.

Annoying kids is one thing, but I am killing too much brain cells thinking about which uni to go to. The all time favourite "noose" or the relatively unknown "the other"? Both have it's merits and I simply cannot decide on where to head to. I've given myself deadline until Monday, 29 May to decide. Till then, we'll just see what happens.

Phew, that was a relief.

sidenote: I had much more to say, but I was not thinking coherently and yes, it's enough for the day=)

A level marathon

2005-10-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

=fly away=

Away on a long long journey elsewhere. Embedded deep deep down the sea. Till then.

prelims

2005-09-08T08:54:00.000-07:00

=panic-strickened=

Its almost here. Almost. But panic came first.

BOOM

2005-08-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

=time bomb goes BOOM!=

Hands up those of you who have seen me explode. Zero? One? Two? I must say that it is rare for people to see me explode but I did. Today. I felt so liberated after pouring out every single drop of anger and frustration. Thank you Murni for hearing me out. Thank you dear. I try to be nice and tolerate your nonsense, but just because I am patient and I dont seem to get angry, it doesnt mean that I wont. I forgive, but I dont forget.

I dont care if you are a guy.

I dont care if you think that only males can be leaders.

I dont care if you get straight As for As

But I care when you make us feel stupid.

I care when you question my leadership.

I care when you make fun of me.

I care when you try to outrun me even when you dont have to.

I care as long as you irritate me.

I've had enough of your incessant bragging.

I've had enough of your male ego.

I've had enough of you.

I want no more.

As it is, today is the final straw. I've been bottling it up for a year and a half, and then, you triggered it. But you are lucky, I still maintained composure and patience throughout the entire ordeal. The only thing I felt like doing was to turn to you, give you a hard tight slap, punch you in the face, kick you in the ass and run another preview of what I did for this year's hustings. Only this time, it is for real. And w.o.r.s.e.

masked

2005-08-14T22:52:00.000-07:00

=masked=

It hurts. Inside.

=the motor's not running=

I am the driver behind the stationary wheel.

miracles do happen

2005-08-01T19:13:00.000-07:00

=miracles do happen=

It is amazing though frustrating how one can score for something when in actual truth, negligible effort is put in to complete it. I really wonder at my ability to score decently in most essays eventhough minimal effort is put into it. Take for example the recent gp essay that I scribbled away the period before it was to be handed up. Compare that to another gp essay which was carefully planned and crafted throughout the entire course of one week, I must say that I scored a substantial mark more in the latest one. Now, if I can score with minimal effort, why then do I flunk when I really put in my heart and soul in my mission to write a better essay?

People always say that hardwork is the key to success. But now I doubt the truth of that claim. Perhaps there are people out there who will tell me that I was just plain lucky. Really lucky. Perhaps I should test it out for tomorrow's geography test and see whether hardwork really pays off.

=work work and more work=

This syndrome should have plagued most if not all A level candidates this year. I can see the tension, the fear, the depression, the struggles as each and everyone of us scrambles up and down, climbing over every hurdle and obstacle that we meet, pouring over countless notes, books and what-have-you, climbing the big, long ladder, all in the good cause of preparing for the big As.

I do agree with my principal that the marathon that we are running now is not solely our own race, but a race that involves all of us out there and that teamwork is the key to the success of completing this marathon. Admit it, we need our friends to motivate us and so does our friends who need us to motivate them in return. For those who feel that, no, this is MY race and this is MY marathon, and I am the one who takes all the courage to push on, please take some time to sit down and reflect on your egoistic perception. Please. For the rest of you people, out there, remember that you are not alone and there are people out there and around you who are also running the same marathon and that we are pulling you along with us in one way or another.

on haitus

2005-07-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

=ceased=

I shall stop updating from now. Tags are welcomed though.

jct results

2005-07-06T20:25:00.000-07:00

=academics=

So far so good. Thank you Allah for answering my prayers.

jcts are over

2005-07-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

=Ingatlah Sayangku=

Kata-kata
Diselangkan dengan hilaian tawa
Pabila
Angin datang menerjah
Bagaimana gerimis bertukar
Menjadi ganas
Begitulah hakikatnya.

Hatimu cuba kuterokai
Kufahami
Menghormati pendirianmu
Manusia.

Aku gagal
Sekali lagi dalam misi ini
Entah berapa lama harus aku terus
Mencari
Lebih banyak aku mencari
Pedih
Biarpun hatiku ditusuk seribu jarum
Lebih pedih rasanya

Wahai manusia
kau gurislah hatiku semaumu
Singgunglah semampumu
Tetapi janganlah kau
lakukannya
ke atas seseorang
yang bergelar
Ibu.

+halimah+

jcts are over1

2005-06-30T23:28:00.000-07:00

=b.r.e.a.k=

Friday+Saturday+Sunday+Monday+Tuesday
= life - studies - school + party + shopping + fun
= real vacation

I am in for a REAL TREAT. *triumphant look*

darling mamah's blogskin

2005-06-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

=own creation=

Whee! I finally learnt the art of html. Made my OWN blogskin today with the help of my darling sister. Still have one teeny weeny problem that we have yet to figure out the solution. In the meantime, this sexy skin will do.

Passing Thought: Where on earth did I have time for this when I am supposed to be buried under my pile of books?

=problem solved=

Yippee! New blogskin ready. My first attempt with my darling sister's help. Any comments?

break from mugging

2005-06-20T14:59:00.000-07:00

=vegetables=

I found out something about myself today. Bright coloured vegetables appeal to me. Yummy. I especially dislike fully cooked vegetables. Prefer half cooked ones. Crunchy! I wonder what have gotten over me. Vegetables has never been on my menu ever since I learnt the art of choosing. It is probably for the better anyway, so no complains. *smiles*

=insane=

My freaking exams starts officially on THURSDAY, 23 JUNE 2005. That is way way way ahead of almost the entire school. Poor lit students who have to get up on a beautiful morning to write essays on two of the most depressing poets on earth. How exciting.

To top it all off, physical geography is on FRIDAY, 24 JUNE 2005. Frankly speaking, I am utterly unprepared. Totally unprepared.

There goes my holidays (and my exams). Anyone on the same boat as me?

new skin

2005-06-18T20:59:00.000-07:00

=sudden impulse=

I have this sudden urge to revamp my blogskin.

movie mania

2005-06-10T18:16:00.000-07:00

=2200hrs-0300hrs=

Chips. Soda. Chocolates. Bed. Pillows. Emak. Salmah. Farid. Me.

I wouldnt ask for more. Lets party!

=12 more days=

Till I meet Boey and Hardy. Please dont kill me.

muggish excercise

2005-06-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

=a.w.o.l.=

Do not question my absence. It was purely INTENTIONAL.

=reality check=

Examinations in 1 week. Expected scenario is to finish revising by the end of next week. Reality says "You are in DEEP SHIT." Go figure.

=in love=

I am deeply in LOVE. Very in love (with my mum). Heh.

arab street bonanza

2005-06-05T01:32:00.000-07:00

=arab street=

Dinner at Samar was interesting. Imagine a light deficient restaurant tucked away in the far end corner of a dimly lit street. Sleazy? No. Cosy? Yes. As you venture pass it, you could catch whiffs of "kemenyan" smell stinging your nostrils and hints of arabic songs playing through the still night air. Inside it, you are choked. I cannot even read the menu properly because of the bad lighting. Strange looking food names filled the pages but the good thing is, the dishes on the menu comes with detailed descriptions. I settled for global food. Not much of an adventure eater eh? Heh. Well, for those of you who want to try shisha (however u spell it), you may do so here. Personally, I think I want to get one for myself. Not to smoke but as a decorative artefact. It is so gorgeous. Haha. Well, I enjoyed myself.

=teh tarik=

Dinner done. Time for teh tarik at the sarabat stall next door. I never thought teh tarik could be so sedating and therepeautic. I am addicted.

=just for the record=

Dinner done. Teh tarik done. "Lepak"ing done. Reached home at almost 1am.

gema 2005

2005-05-15T06:19:00.000-07:00

=gema temasek 2005=

HIDUP TEMASEK! (lebih-lebih lagi kumpulan sepanduk!)

=bahasa melayu=

Sayangnya, ramai anak muda kita sekarang menganggap bahasa melayu sebagai sebuah bahasa yang tidak penting. Walaupun bahasa inggeris menjadi bahasa perantaraan dari pelbagai aspek kehidupan, bahasa melayu tetap tidak boleh diketepikan kerana ia merupakan bahasa ibunda yang mencerminkan keperibadian orang melayu. Bahasa melayu. Bahasa yang penuh dengan keindahan.

Aku akur akan kesilapanku mengetepikan bahasa melayu dalam perjuanganku. Apakan daya, sistem pendidikan di Singapura menyekat penggunaan bahasa ibunda kerana penekanan terhadap bahasa inggeris.

Kini, aku masih cuba berfikir dalam bahasa melayu. Mudah-mudahan aku, akan berjaya dalam perjuanganku nanti.

kejahilan

2005-05-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

=kejahilan=

Kesayuan melakar hatiku
Penuh dengan calar-calar
Bekas tikaman lidah
Si dia

Aku bagaikan seekor semut di persada ini
Jangan salahkanku
Aku takkan mengerti
Erti kehidupan ini

Jangan salahkanku
Aku sedar kelemahanku
Biarlah angin bayu menolak
Menepis
Tetap aku terhoyong-hayang

Sememangnya
kearifan dalam soal ini
bukan hak aku
Sebulan menyeberangi
melintasi
melawan
mendaki
Tidak membuatku seorang yang arif
Di persada ini

Jangan salahkanku
Tolonglah

+halimah+

rayuan seorang pengemis

2005-05-02T19:00:00.000-07:00

=Rayuan Seorang Pengemis=

Pedih
Datangnya bertalu-talu
Bak perisai silam yang mencecah hatiku
Pabila mentari menyinari
Kepedihannya terasa sekali
Sakit, pedih
Ku pinta dan meminta
Ku hulur tanganku
Merayu
Menangis
Bagaikan pengemis kaki lima
Saat-saat belulang bertukar menjadi
Suatu pameran kesetiaan
Biarkanlah
Aku mengemis di situ
Tapi, sampai bila harusku bertahan?

-halimah-

random thoughts

2005-04-23T20:36:00.000-07:00

=npcc day parade=

I am supposed to be down today at PA doing duties but I fell sick. Hah. What a waste.

=to-do-list=

Its getting longer. When will it end? Never.

=publicity deficient=

Not many pple know I have a blog because I dont publicize it. Dont be fooled by the many links I have.

=cooking therapy=

If there is such a thing as retail therapy, I see no reason why I cannot have a cooking therapy. If there is anybody out there with a better coinage of the term, do let me know. Cooking (includes baking as well) have its own medicinal value. Its such a therapeautic activity that it serves as a stress reliever to heavily work-laden students like me. Maybe I should just quit school and become a chef.

gossip

2005-04-22T22:53:00.000-07:00

=meet-the-parents session=

I went. Apparently, all teachers have high hopes of me and Ms J is rather disappointed with my performance. Well, make that ALL teachers. I dont know why I am being chained by other people's expectations. Family, friends, teachers. Everyone pin their hopes so high on me and the only thing I ever do is let them down. Hah. I acknowledge the fact that the circumstances I am in right now is nothing as compared to other people. Why am I complaining when I myself pin high hopes for myself? I am such a perfectionist that the slightest flaw can get me to evolve into a state of utter disappointment. What I really cant stand is Maggie actually gossiped about S to my parents during the session. My parents dont care about it, but can u imagine the humiliation it has brought her?

Just because I am the OTHER malay girl in a manjen-dominated class, I have been promoted to being S's welfare director. If she is not in sch or late, I will be questioned. If she needs to see Maggie, I am the one to make the calls. If there is a complain against her, I will be told. Why cant Maggie just leave me alone? I have no problem with reminding her to hand in stuff or collect stuff for her. Absolutely no problem because she is my friend. But you dont have to irritate me about her discipline problems everyday right? Go deal with her yourself. Its not as if I have a video function in me that records her every single move. Buzz off!

blockhead

2005-04-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

=blog abandonment=

It wasnt intentional.

=blockhead=

I am such a BLOCKHEAD. Supposed to ask her like weeks ago and only managed to remember to ask today and that is after someone msg me to do so. Wake up, girl!

=common tests=

Disappointing. Enough said.

happy 18th

2005-04-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

=eighteen=

Happy birthday to me! I am 18. BIG deal.

hello singapore

2005-03-27T20:40:00.000-08:00

=hello singapore=

I am back. Love the trip. Zonks off to sleep (I've got sch tmr, all right?).

kuantan

2005-03-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

=kuantan trip=

Halimah will be away from 24-27 March. Bye!

randomness

2005-03-22T23:37:00.000-08:00

=in a state of excitement=

Whee! I cant cant cant wait. Two more days to go and I am off! *anxiously waiting*

=pidato competition equals missing whole day of school=

The day has finally come. The judgment day. Good luck to us! Nurain and Syakirah, u both rock! Give it your best!

=results of pidato=

TJC: Champions
TA: Fourth

We did it girls!

aftermath of march holidays

2005-03-21T18:26:00.000-08:00

=aftermath of march hols=

Yay! First day of school after the march holidays. Haven't been blogging for a long time and this is due to the time constraints of being a student. Phew. Had a relatively good break although I visited the school every single day. Talk about being commited. Ha.

=geog trip=

I cannot wait for the geog trip!! 3 more days to go and I am off. Whee!! Its a pity its not a HOLIDAY trip. Only ONE HOUR of shopping is allocated throughout the entire four days. Wow. How pathetic. But I may consider going for the spa treatments or the sauna or the jacuzzi. Total relaxation. But the good thing is Shariza and Nizam is going kuantan too! Staying at the same hotel/chalet. Miss you people.

=little fishy=

Its my darling fishy's birthday today! If only you were here. I miss you!

trudging on cecil street

2005-02-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

=trudging on cecil street=

Here comes Saturday and I spent 3 hours truding from Raffles Place to Cecil Street to Maxwell Road to Amoy Street and later to Ann Siang Hill and Club Street and back to Raffles Place. There's more but I shant name all. We trudged into buildings cracking our brains to categorise the various activities that take place, counted the number of floors, played guessing games for the time period the building was built, counted the number of people on the street and crossed paths with an insane and uncomprehensible security guard. All for the sake of geography. I still do not get what the security guard was trying to tell me. Hello, its a public bank and ANYONE can enter it, so why is there a need to interrogate me? You mean, I cant go into banks? A student fully clad in identifiable school garments with a clipboard in hand is a potential terrorist? And why do I need to ask the bank's personnel permission to enter the bank? Geez...some people are just out of their minds. Or perhaps they have too little things to do that they have to find something just to satisfy their I-have-authority attitude. And seeing a seemingly harmless college student, he decided to play it on me. Pfft.

dumb blogger

2005-02-10T04:56:00.000-08:00

=dumb blogger=

All right. After weeks of pondering over why my posts do not get published, I finally found out why. It must be really dumb of me because the reason is simple. I downloaded the "movable type" skin instead of the "blogger main" type. I do not see the difference between the two and it is not as if I really want to know. Well, I vow to learn how to make my own skin because originality is what makes a blog personal. You will appreciate your blog even more if it is your own hard work. Trust me. However, for the time being, I shall stick to downloading blogskins until I accomplish my mission. I will.

How ironic it is that I have my own blog right now because I never really like the idea of blogging. Oh well, I am already here. Do not ask me why I suddenly have the urge to create one when nothing and nobody is bugging me to do so. It is just an intuition that moved me. I do not have an objective in mind but I will find one one day. Perhaps it serve as an outlet to vent all emotions, thoughts and feelings. Or it could be a way of practising the English language. I do not know. But one thing is for sure, I am starting to like blogging.

first official entry

2005-02-01T17:17:00.000-08:00

=what a start=

It was bad enough that I started the day with R nagging at the class about lit. Frankly speaking, he is one mean male bitch that pmses all the time. And I mean all the time. He can be overly enthusiastic at one moment and all moody and "pms"ey the next. Oh well. What he nagged about was true anyway and I shall heed his advice. I still need to redo his essay. All my freaking hardwork. Bleah. I promise to produce QUALITY work this time round though. You watch out.

=econs nightmare=

As usual. Its tuesday. Econs remedial. What a nice way to end the supposedly short day. Oh well. I suck at econs thats why. She pissed me off man. Urgh. I shant elaborate. Not worth it. Get out!

=geog hysteria=

Yup. I got back my urban geog essay. Didnt do too bad but still I am unhappy. 14/25 for something I studied for is really mediocre. Blame it on the lack of time we had. 40 min to write one essay. Not enough. 5 more min would have made a lot of difference. A LOT OF DIFFERENCE.

=pencil case=

Can someone get a new pencil case for me? It has ruptured on the side seam. Aint my fault. It was severed when I took it out. So yah. It aint my fault. I still need a new one.